i haven't updated this thing in a while and im surprised it hasnt gotten taken down to be honest. this website or whatever is just too pathetic i feel like i'd have gotten some sort of suspension or something. anywho, today, in like a couple minutes, i'm gonna go somewhere and it's gonna be with someone that has i have been talking to on discord. its not a direct thing. they're a friend of my friend and we just game together. the thing is. it sounds super weird, but i kinda use discord as a type of social playground. in real life, im fucking fat as shit and i normally dont like to speak up. i guess i'm afraid of being judged or rejected. on discord, i get the opportunity to do whatever i want unfiltered. i get mad, its obvious. im sad, i start throw tantrums. it also helps that people on discord, especially in a voice chat, don't see you in real life. it creates a filter that makes people generally more apathetic, since they can't read your facial expression. what i do seems really silly, but it helps me build a sort of diaspora on myself. i get to reflect on my more nasty parts of my character on people who i necessarily know or dont know. since im meeting this guy whom i never let him see my face. im nervous. my body is disgusting and i hope nobody sees it, but id be a pussy if i dont at least go there haha.